


Gone

by jasonpetertodd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Ghost Kylo Ren, Heavy Angst, Kylo Ren Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence, Possessive Kylo Ren, Sad, Short One Shot, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, idk i wanted something sad lmao, uhh there's blood involved so, y/n do be mad depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasonpetertodd/pseuds/jasonpetertodd
Summary: A one shot written from the perspective of y/n with the lyrics of “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo. Hoping the tiktok stans obsessed with Kylo find this one.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 20





	Gone

_And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one_   
_And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone_

Your fingers curl tightly over the lip of the sink, knuckles white from the strain. The cool metal bites into your palms, calming your reeling mind. Raising your head, you peer at your reflection in the warped mirror.

_Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me_   
_'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street_

The exhaustion is evident in your features. Eyes red, skin pale, the hollows of your cheeks painted with shadows of grief. The image blurs, the taste of salt staining your lips. A broken sob pierces the room. It takes you a moment to process that the noise came from you.

_Red lights_   
_Stop signs_   
_I still see your face_   
_In the white cars_

_Front yards_

The memory slams into you, nostalgia and anguish stealing the air from your lungs. You can almost feel his fingers around your neck and wrapped around your waist, eyes dark and manic holding your own captive. “You come from nothing.” You can imagine the heat pooling in your stomach, the ghost of his lips passing over yours. “You’re nothing, Y/n.”

“But not to me.”

_Can't drive past the places_   
_We used to_   
_Go to_   
_'Cause I still fucking love you, babe_

Your eyes squeeze shut. In your mind, you can still see each and every freckle on his face. You counted them once, naming them after every planet you’d learned of as a child. You memorized the planes of his face, trailed your fingers through his dark curls, worshipped the way he spoke your name.

In the end, your memories were all that was left of him.

_Sidewalks_   
_We crossed_   
_I still hear your voice_   
_In the traffic_   
_We're laughing_   
_Over all the noise_

You remember the day the transmission came, the Scavenger’s voice distortedly coming over the communicator.

“He’s gone.” Her voice was oddly empty through the static, like she’d lost part of herself. “Ben is gone.”

You didn’t understand why he did what he did. Still don’t. Why he would leave you here, why he willingly gave his life for some girl from the desserts of Jakku, why he would give up when he had come so far, why he would go when he had finally seen the light, why he would leave you here, leave you here, leave you, leaveyouleaveyouleaveyou-.

_God, I'm so blue_   
_Know we're through_   
_But I still fucking love you, babe_

Your fist collides with the mirror, punctuated with a scream of despair. The glass shatters beneath your hand and bites through your skin, the metal of the sink below you soon stained with splatters of red. You’re shaking, rage and heartache and confusion swirling through your mind as you struggle to breathe through ragged sobs. With it, the pain brings clarity. You pound your fist against the ruins of the fractured mirror once more, eyes opening.

_I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one_   
_And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone_   
_Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me_

He’s there in the cracked reflection, a faint blue specter standing over your left shoulder. He hasn’t changed. The little planets still spill over his prominent nose and cheeks, hair curled just above his shoulders, eyes dark and warm and filled with something akin to pain.

He spoke your name, the sound spilling like a prayer from his mouth. 

Gasping haggardly, you jerk yourself away from the ruined mirror and turn, feeling peace and relief and elation and all of the happy things you hadn’t felt since he’d died.

You turn to be met by only dark tile and empty space. He was gone.

_'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street_   
_Yeah, you said forever now I drive alone past your street_


End file.
